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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Important
Writing
Thing
Parties
Party
Book

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The best things in life aren't things.
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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