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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Important
Writing
Thing
Parties
Party
Book

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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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