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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Parties
Party
Book
Important
Writing
Thing

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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a crook. Jimmy Carter says, I have lusted after women in my heart. President Reagan says, I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
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I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
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