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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
Art Buchwald
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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Parties
Party
Book
Important
Writing
Thing
More quotes by Art Buchwald
The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
Art Buchwald
I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
Art Buchwald
An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
Art Buchwald
While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country's problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school.
Art Buchwald
The best things in life aren't things.
Art Buchwald
No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
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The things that matter most are not things.
Art Buchwald
If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
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Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
Art Buchwald
People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
Art Buchwald
I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
Art Buchwald