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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Writing
Constantly
Advantage
Wife
Asks
Working
Fighting
Use
Stuff
Literary

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
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I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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