Quote

War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Wonder
Fighting
Marching
War
Parades
Around
Wondering
Men
Somewhere
Supposed
Sitting
Hell

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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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