Quote

War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.

Art Buchwald

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Men
Somewhere
Supposed
Sitting
Hell
Wonder
Fighting
Marching
War
Parades
Around
Wondering

More quotes by Art Buchwald

Image
Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
Art Buchwald
Image
This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
Art Buchwald
Image
People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
Art Buchwald
Image
... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
Art Buchwald
Image
Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
Art Buchwald
Image
I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
Art Buchwald
Image
I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
Art Buchwald
Image
Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
Art Buchwald
Image
I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
Art Buchwald
Image
I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
Art Buchwald
Image
I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
Art Buchwald
Image
An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
Art Buchwald
Image
If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
Art Buchwald
Image
I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
Art Buchwald
Image
I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
Art Buchwald
Image
I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
Art Buchwald
Image
This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
Art Buchwald
Image
The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
Art Buchwald
Image
If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
Art Buchwald
Image
The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.
Art Buchwald