Quote

War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Wonder
Fighting
Marching
War
Parades
Around
Wondering
Men
Somewhere
Supposed
Sitting
Hell

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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
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I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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The things that matter most are not things.
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Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
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