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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Men
Somewhere
Supposed
Sitting
Hell
Wonder
Fighting
Marching
War
Parades
Around
Wondering

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a crook. Jimmy Carter says, I have lusted after women in my heart. President Reagan says, I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
Art Buchwald
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
Art Buchwald
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
Art Buchwald
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
Art Buchwald
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
Art Buchwald