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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Ever
Thousands
Country
Escape
Way
Fight
Men
Fighting
World
Chance
Rather
Humdrum
Lives
Welcomed
War
Mentioned

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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country's problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school.
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a crook. Jimmy Carter says, I have lusted after women in my heart. President Reagan says, I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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