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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Rather
Humdrum
Lives
Welcomed
War
Mentioned
Ever
Thousands
Country
Escape
Way
Fight
Men
Fighting
World
Chance

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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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