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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
Art Buchwald
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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Always
Tennis
Things
Seriously
Would
Sex
Normal
Higher
Whether
Constructive
Take
List
Something
Lists
More quotes by Art Buchwald
I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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