Quote

I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Would
Sex
Normal
Higher
Whether
Constructive
Take
List
Something
Lists
Always
Tennis
Things
Seriously

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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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