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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Normal
Higher
Constructive
Whether
List
Take
Lists
Something
Tennis
Always
Seriously
Things
Would
Sex

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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
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Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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