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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Answers
Asks
Getting
Even
Trying
Really
People
Answer
Humor

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
Art Buchwald
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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
Art Buchwald
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
Art Buchwald