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Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Audience
Performing
Suffering
Suffer
Anything
Fail
Live
Fronts
Human
Front
Humans
Failing
Column
Great
Humor
Columns
Writing
Dangerous
Humiliation

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
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I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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