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Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Writing
Dangerous
Humiliation
Audience
Performing
Suffering
Suffer
Anything
Fail
Live
Fronts
Human
Front
Humans
Failing
Column
Great
Humor
Columns

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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The best things in life aren't things.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
Art Buchwald
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Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a crook. Jimmy Carter says, I have lusted after women in my heart. President Reagan says, I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
Art Buchwald
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While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country's problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school.
Art Buchwald