Quote

Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.

Art Buchwald

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Suicide
Commit
Later
Week
Two
Change
Might
Mind
Weeks

More quotes by Art Buchwald

Image
The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
Art Buchwald
Image
Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
Art Buchwald
Image
Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
Art Buchwald
Image
I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
Art Buchwald
Image
I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
Art Buchwald
Image
The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.
Art Buchwald
Image
I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
Art Buchwald
Image
The things that matter most are not things.
Art Buchwald
Image
The best things in life aren't things.
Art Buchwald
Image
Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
Art Buchwald
Image
Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
Art Buchwald
Image
I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
Art Buchwald
Image
The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
Art Buchwald
Image
I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
Art Buchwald
Image
I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
Art Buchwald
Image
Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
Art Buchwald
Image
I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
Art Buchwald
Image
The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
Art Buchwald
Image
This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
Art Buchwald
Image
You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
Art Buchwald