Quote

... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Speech
Minutes
Something
Would
Afterlife
Graduation
Profound
Forgotten

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
Art Buchwald
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
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Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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The best things in life aren't things.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a crook. Jimmy Carter says, I have lusted after women in my heart. President Reagan says, I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
Art Buchwald
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
Art Buchwald
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While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country's problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school.
Art Buchwald
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The things that matter most are not things.
Art Buchwald