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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Woke
Alive
Morning
Happy
Whole

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
Art Buchwald
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The things that matter most are not things.
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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
Art Buchwald
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
Art Buchwald
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
Art Buchwald
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
Art Buchwald
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The best things in life aren't things.
Art Buchwald
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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
Art Buchwald
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
Art Buchwald