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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Didn
Stills
Still
Take
Dialysis
Became
Hero
Alive
Everyone

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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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