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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Problem
Real
Pathos
Journalism
Page
Pages
Television
Two

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
Art Buchwald
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
Art Buchwald