Quote

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.

Art Buchwald

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Real
Pathos
Journalism
Page
Pages
Television
Two
Problem

More quotes by Art Buchwald

Image
If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
Art Buchwald
Image
The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
Art Buchwald
Image
I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
Art Buchwald
Image
Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
Art Buchwald
Image
The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
Art Buchwald
Image
Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
Art Buchwald
Image
I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
Art Buchwald
Image
I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
Art Buchwald
Image
The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.
Art Buchwald
Image
Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
Art Buchwald
Image
If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
Art Buchwald
Image
Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
Art Buchwald
Image
I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
Art Buchwald
Image
I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
Art Buchwald
Image
I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
Art Buchwald
Image
... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
Art Buchwald
Image
I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
Art Buchwald
Image
I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
Art Buchwald
Image
No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
Art Buchwald
Image
The things that matter most are not things.
Art Buchwald