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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Exactly
Taste
Food
Water
Powder
Like
Tastes
Mixed
Culinary
Cooking

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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country's problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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