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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Beginning
Food
Else
Something
French
Way
Evening
Always
Dinner
Regard
Americans

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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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