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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Something
French
Way
Evening
Always
Dinner
Regard
Americans
Beginning
Food
Else

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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
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