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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Americans
Beginning
Food
Else
Something
French
Way
Evening
Always
Dinner
Regard

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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
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Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a crook. Jimmy Carter says, I have lusted after women in my heart. President Reagan says, I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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