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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
Art Buchwald
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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Americans
Beginning
Food
Else
Something
French
Way
Evening
Always
Dinner
Regard
More quotes by Art Buchwald
On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
Art Buchwald
I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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