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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Everyone
Didn
Stills
Still
Dialysis
Take
Became
Hero
Alive

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While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country's problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school.
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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The things that matter most are not things.
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
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Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a crook. Jimmy Carter says, I have lusted after women in my heart. President Reagan says, I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.
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