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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Stills
Still
Take
Dialysis
Became
Hero
Alive
Everyone
Didn

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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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