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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Pages
Concern
York
Contemplated
Times
Obituary
Make
Bipolar
Would
Page
Suicide
Main

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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
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I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
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