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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
Art Buchwald
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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Learned
Inspirational
Others
Made
Quickly
Liked
Laughter
Laugh
Laughing
More quotes by Art Buchwald
The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.
Art Buchwald
When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
Art Buchwald
The best things in life aren't things.
Art Buchwald
If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
Art Buchwald
Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
Art Buchwald
If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
Art Buchwald
I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
Art Buchwald
War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
Art Buchwald
I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
Art Buchwald
I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
Art Buchwald
People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
Art Buchwald
Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
Art Buchwald
If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
Art Buchwald
The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
Art Buchwald
The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
Art Buchwald
Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
Art Buchwald
Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
Art Buchwald
I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
Art Buchwald
I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
Art Buchwald
I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
Art Buchwald