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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Like
Sharing
Depression
War
Experience
Felt
Persons
Depressions
Person
Bonds
Life
Survived

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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
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