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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
War
Experience
Felt
Persons
Depressions
Person
Bonds
Life
Survived
Like
Sharing
Depression

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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
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Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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