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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Life
Survived
Like
Sharing
Depression
War
Experience
Felt
Persons
Depressions
Person
Bonds

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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.
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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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