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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Makes
Statistics
States
Accidents
Killed
Americans
Prove
Dangerous
United
Buffalo
Everyone
Automobile

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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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