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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Anger
Relationship
Society
Anything
Make
Love
Satire
Life
Recording
World
Anymore

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
Art Buchwald
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Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a crook. Jimmy Carter says, I have lusted after women in my heart. President Reagan says, I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.
Art Buchwald
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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
Art Buchwald
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
Art Buchwald
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
Art Buchwald
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
Art Buchwald
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
Art Buchwald
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
Art Buchwald
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
Art Buchwald
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
Art Buchwald
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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
Art Buchwald
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
Art Buchwald
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
Art Buchwald
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
Art Buchwald