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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Anything
Make
Love
Satire
Life
Recording
World
Anymore
Anger
Relationship
Society

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
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This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
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Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
Art Buchwald
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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
Art Buchwald
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
Art Buchwald
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
Art Buchwald