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Every year I volunteer at a hospital on Thanksgiving, deep-frying turkeys in the children's burn unit. I do it just to see the looks on their little faces.
Anthony Jeselnik
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Anthony Jeselnik
Age: 45
Born: 1978
Born: December 22
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Year
Turkeys
Faces
Hospital
Littles
Volunteer
Little
Units
Looks
Thanksgiving
Children
Hospitals
Every
Burn
Frying
Years
Deep
Unit
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Todd Glass has amazing energy on stage. Dave Attell is one of my favorites because he's a one liner comic who is always incredibly in the moment with the audience. As for newer people, I think Adrienne Iapalucci writes some great, dark jokes and Sean Patton has a hilarious voice on stage.
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I have a rare form of body dysmorphia in which I absolutely can't stand how good I look.
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2010 has been awesome. I got to write on the David Hasselhoff Roast this summer, and that's always been a dream.
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When I was seven, I broke my leg playing soccer. Just to feel something.
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I feel worthless. My girlfriend was attacked on the subway yesterday. And I can't even enjoy it.
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I let a friend set me up on a blind date. It was a disaster. She ended up being a burn victim. By the end of the night.
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I was a terrible employee. I've been fired from almost every job I've ever had, luckily, in a good way, or else I'd be stuck. I would always joke around with everybody, and no one enjoyed my humor.
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I hated my mom for not letting me play football as a kid. So when I have kids someday, I guarantee they'll never meet their grandmother.
Anthony Jeselnik
