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I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.

Anthony Jeselnik

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Anthony Jeselnik
Age: 45
Born: 1978
Born: December 22
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Death
Didn
Always
Things
Like
People
Forbidden
Fascinated
Talk

More quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

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I guess I prefer the laughs. I couldn't do a whole set of just shocks, but I like throwing a fastball inside every now and then to keep people on their toes.
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When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I'm older, I'm more of a cat guy.
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I'm fascinated by offensive subject matter. Always have been. It is very natural to me, as any teach I've ever had growing up could attest.
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I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about.
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I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage.
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I was a terrible employee. I've been fired from almost every job I've ever had, luckily, in a good way, or else I'd be stuck. I would always joke around with everybody, and no one enjoyed my humor.
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Disasters are funny to me. As a comedian you learn from failure, so I'm always trying to put myself in a situation that does not seem ideal for my comedy and see how it works.
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My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. Devastating. I can't believe I'm only going to have sex with her one more time.
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Every comic went through their Mitch Hedberg phase - the glasses, the hair in the face - and you knew immediately when they were doing it.
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You'll get my assault weapon when you pry it out of my curious six-year-old's cold dead hands.
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My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.
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Valentine's Day was created by the greeting card industry to get pussy.
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Everyone gets laid off and everyone in Hollywood gets unemployment for six months while they're looking for a new job. So I would just do stand-up for six months and think I was really making it, and when my unemployment ran out, I had to get another job immediately.
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I’m not a religious person I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable.
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I spent all night feeding the homeless to dogs.
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There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it that's my job.
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Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.
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I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good at it.
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Wayne Brady, I don’t understand why people keep joking that you’re not black. Wayne Brady, you are BLACK. After all, I only remember you for all the years you played an uppity slave on ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’.
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It's always difficult when someone close to you passes away. But it's really tough when they're on top of you.
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