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I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.

Anthony Jeselnik

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Anthony Jeselnik
Age: 45
Born: 1978
Born: December 22
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Fascinated
Talk
Death
Didn
Always
Things
Like
People
Forbidden

More quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

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On the show, you have to be more charismatic, a little smoother, but I think I can still be that prince of darkness. You just have to learn the tricks of the TV trade as well.
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I think some people just don't know that much about comedy. It would be like a person who didn't know anything about football thinking all offensive linemen are the same.
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When I die, I want to be cremated with everybody.
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I love anyone who surprises me and makes me laugh.
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It's impossible for me to hear the words quadruple murder suicide without thinking of my grandparents.
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I feel worthless. My girlfriend was attacked on the subway yesterday. And I can't even enjoy it.
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Everyone has the same kind of fears everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and I hope horrible things dont happen to my family, but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release.
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I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.
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I do dark [humor]. I like people who are silly and weird and people who are surprising and good at what they do.
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My mom's been having a hard time lately. She just found out that she has to have both of her breasts removed - if she's ever going to be good at golf.
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People are surprised that I'm nice and it helps me out a little bit it's easy to be nice when everyone thinks you're going to be a jerk but if people think you're a nice guy then it's tough because it's what they expect.
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I'll be very busy, which is all I need.
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Disgusting. I just found my grandpa's Viagra. I swear, I almost puked from eating so many.
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I feel like every first episode of a TV show is bad, you know, and it always improves.
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If I tell a joke on stage and the crowd laughs for a minute, I stand there for a minute and enjoy them laughing before I go on to the next joke. On TV, if I stand there for a minute while they laugh, I look like an idiot who can't remember the next joke.
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I'm interested in doing some acting in the future, but it's a distant second to stand up.
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My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.
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Katey Sagal, you are an incredible actress. You worked on ‘Married with Children,’ the show that changed comedy, ‘Sons of Anarchy,’ the show that took comedy to a whole new level and ‘8 Simple Rules,’ the show that killed John Ritter.
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My sister is going to have a simple wedding. Just immediate family. And whoever the hell would want to marry her.
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Every year I volunteer at a hospital on Thanksgiving, deep-frying turkeys in the children's burn unit. I do it just to see the looks on their little faces.
Anthony Jeselnik