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It's always difficult when someone close to you passes away. But it's really tough when they're on top of you.

Anthony Jeselnik

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Anthony Jeselnik
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: December 22
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Passes
Tough
Close
Difficult
Away
Someone
Really
Always

More quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

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In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, Just kidding. I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.
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I tell very mean jokes.
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I hated my mom for not letting me play football as a kid. So when I have kids someday, I guarantee they'll never meet their grandmother.
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I'll be very busy, which is all I need.
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Perhaps I'm being too optimistic, but I think this country is finally ready for a black serial killer.
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I love anyone who surprises me and makes me laugh.
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My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.
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You know how everybody has that one weird creepy uncle? Well, Seth Green looks like he got raped by all of them.
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My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.
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I think a theater show is a pure version of me doing my material. The theater crowd is a bit more polite, there really aren't hecklers, and there are a lot of people there to see me, and they're excited about the jokes and hanging out with me for a show.
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My favorite sport is football. I'm a die hard Steelers fan. Favorite players were Hines Ward and Greg Lloyd.
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I think brilliant stuff comes out of working with limitations. One liners are very limiting, but that's what drew me to them in the first place.
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Halloween is just a made up holiday, created by the razor blade industry.
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I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.
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I know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says.
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I loved Stephen Wright, and I loved Mitch Hedberg, but they seemed like geniuses you could never emulate. You'd just be ripping them off.
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I'm fascinated by offensive subject matter. Always have been. It is very natural to me, as any teach I've ever had growing up could attest.
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I will never understand how a mother can kill her own baby and not get away with it.
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Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.
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Todd Glass has amazing energy on stage. Dave Attell is one of my favorites because he's a one liner comic who is always incredibly in the moment with the audience. As for newer people, I think Adrienne Iapalucci writes some great, dark jokes and Sean Patton has a hilarious voice on stage.
Anthony Jeselnik