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It's always difficult when someone close to you passes away. But it's really tough when they're on top of you.
Anthony Jeselnik
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Anthony Jeselnik
Age: 45
Born: 1978
Born: December 22
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Tough
Close
Difficult
Away
Someone
Really
Always
Passes
More quotes by Anthony Jeselnik
I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldnt be the bad guy in the joke he couldnt upset people, really.
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I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.
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I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say.
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The true meaning of Christmas is actually centuries of gullibility.
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When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I'm older, I'm more of a cat guy.
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I'm interested in doing some acting in the future, but it's a distant second to stand up.
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Sure, my uncle killed himself playing Russian Roulette. But I choose to remember him as a great Russian Roulette player.
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An offended audience member repeating a comedian's act from memory is worse than, literally, anything.
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I think some people just don't know that much about comedy. It would be like a person who didn't know anything about football thinking all offensive linemen are the same.
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It's impossible for me to hear the words quadruple murder suicide without thinking of my grandparents.
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Halloween is just a made up holiday, created by the razor blade industry.
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Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.
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I tell very mean jokes.
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Every year I volunteer at a hospital on Thanksgiving, deep-frying turkeys in the children's burn unit. I do it just to see the looks on their little faces.
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Do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it
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Disasters are funny to me. As a comedian you learn from failure, so I'm always trying to put myself in a situation that does not seem ideal for my comedy and see how it works.
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I would love to DJ the royal wedding. Just so I could play Candle in the Wind non-stop.
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I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor.
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I'll be very busy, which is all I need.
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I know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says.
Anthony Jeselnik
