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It's always difficult when someone close to you passes away. But it's really tough when they're on top of you.
Anthony Jeselnik
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Anthony Jeselnik
Age: 45
Born: 1978
Born: December 22
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Tough
Close
Difficult
Away
Someone
Really
Always
Passes
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I killed a squirrel once with a car. Twice with a tennis racket.
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What do I care if someone doesn't like me. If I like someone other people hate, it makes me feel special. I think my fans feel that way.
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Every comic went through their Mitch Hedberg phase - the glasses, the hair in the face - and you knew immediately when they were doing it.
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I loved Stephen Wright, and I loved Mitch Hedberg, but they seemed like geniuses you could never emulate. You'd just be ripping them off.
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I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good at it.
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I don't think Metallica sits around all day wondering why country music fans don't embrace them.
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I think the reason I became funny was because if I made people laugh, they would let me keep talking.
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You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.
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God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.
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I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.
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I had a happy childhood in a nice suburban area, pretty idyllic, upper middle class and very, very white. My dad is an attorney. My mother is a housewife. They had five kids in seven years: me, my brother, and three sisters. I'm the oldest. We were all very active. My mother was exhausted.
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I tell very mean jokes.
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I think my friend Jeff is gay. I don't know - I'm so bad with names.
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Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.
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Every year I volunteer at a hospital on Thanksgiving, deep-frying turkeys in the children's burn unit. I do it just to see the looks on their little faces.
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My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep.
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Sure, my uncle killed himself playing Russian Roulette. But I choose to remember him as a great Russian Roulette player.
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My favorite sport is football. I'm a die hard Steelers fan. Favorite players were Hines Ward and Greg Lloyd.
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