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It's always difficult when someone close to you passes away. But it's really tough when they're on top of you.
Anthony Jeselnik
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Anthony Jeselnik
Age: 45
Born: 1978
Born: December 22
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Close
Difficult
Away
Someone
Really
Always
Passes
Tough
More quotes by Anthony Jeselnik
I'll be very busy, which is all I need.
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Everyone has the same kind of fears everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and I hope horrible things dont happen to my family, but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release.
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I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about.
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I let a friend set me up on a blind date. It was a disaster. She ended up being a burn victim. By the end of the night.
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There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it that's my job.
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The true meaning of Christmas is actually centuries of gullibility.
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Racist dermatologists think all black people have really bad skin.
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I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.
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I wish my family had taken more pictures when I was growing up. Instead of always having to draw everything.
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An offended audience member repeating a comedian's act from memory is worse than, literally, anything.
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You'll get my assault weapon when you pry it out of my curious six-year-old's cold dead hands.
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Todd Glass has amazing energy on stage. Dave Attell is one of my favorites because he's a one liner comic who is always incredibly in the moment with the audience. As for newer people, I think Adrienne Iapalucci writes some great, dark jokes and Sean Patton has a hilarious voice on stage.
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I've always been fascinated by dark subjects, especially people's reactions to them. Why are people so uncomfortable talking about death if everyone dies?
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Everyone gets laid off and everyone in Hollywood gets unemployment for six months while they're looking for a new job. So I would just do stand-up for six months and think I was really making it, and when my unemployment ran out, I had to get another job immediately.
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My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.
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I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good at it.
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Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.
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I don't think Metallica sits around all day wondering why country music fans don't embrace them.
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My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. Devastating. I can't believe I'm only going to have sex with her one more time.
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I can drink like a fish, or at least, someone born with fetal alcohol syndrome.
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