Quote

Every comic went through their Mitch Hedberg phase - the glasses, the hair in the face - and you knew immediately when they were doing it.

Anthony Jeselnik

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Anthony Jeselnik
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: December 22
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Knew
Phase
Face
Phases
Faces
Immediately
Funny
Glasses
Every
Comic
Humor
Hair
Went
Mitch

More quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

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I don't think Metallica sits around all day wondering why country music fans don't embrace them.
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My favorite sport is football. I'm a die hard Steelers fan. Favorite players were Hines Ward and Greg Lloyd.
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My mom's been having a hard time lately. She just found out that she has to have both of her breasts removed - if she's ever going to be good at golf.
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I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.
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Dark humor appealed to me because it was a bigger laugh than you could get with anything else. Seeing people laugh at something inappropriate with their whole bodies, a guttural, visceral laugh beyond a mere hah.
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My sister is going to have a simple wedding. Just immediate family. And whoever the hell would want to marry her.
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When I was seven, I broke my leg playing soccer. Just to feel something.
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It seemed fun to play a villain on stage and I wanted my jokes to be so good that I could just calmly tell them on stage.
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There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it that's my job.
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You'll get my assault weapon when you pry it out of my curious six-year-old's cold dead hands.
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I think some people just don't know that much about comedy. It would be like a person who didn't know anything about football thinking all offensive linemen are the same.
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I’m not a religious person I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable.
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My ultimate goal is to do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. And that keeps changing. I didn't want to host my own show until I wrote for someone else's.
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My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you?
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Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.
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My perfect night would be going out to an awesome restaurant, then heading over to the Comedy Cellar to hang out with other comics, drinking beers and making fun of each other.
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It's impossible for me to hear the words quadruple murder suicide without thinking of my grandparents.
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I'm really proud of the album. It's something I always wanted to do but I had to wait until I was ready. Shakespeare is a culmination of eight years of stand up experience and joke writing. I recorded two shows at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York. The crowds were great and that's what really makes an album.
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People are surprised that I'm nice and it helps me out a little bit it's easy to be nice when everyone thinks you're going to be a jerk but if people think you're a nice guy then it's tough because it's what they expect.
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I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.
Anthony Jeselnik