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I’m not a religious person I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable.

Anthony Jeselnik

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Anthony Jeselnik
Age: 45
Born: 1978
Born: December 22
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Persons
Behinds
Person
Behind
Good
Humor
Would
Call
Religious
Story
Funny
Reasonable
Stories
Atheist

More quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

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Valentine's Day was created by the greeting card industry to get pussy.
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When I was seven, I broke my leg playing soccer. Just to feel something.
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You look like you deep fry your hands before you bite your fingernails.
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I love Pittsburgh. Most of my family still lives there and I try to get back a couple of times a year.
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I love anyone who surprises me and makes me laugh.
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I will never understand how a mother can kill her own baby and not get away with it.
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Racist dermatologists think all black people have really bad skin.
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The true meaning of Christmas is actually centuries of gullibility.
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I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about.
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If I tell a joke on stage and the crowd laughs for a minute, I stand there for a minute and enjoy them laughing before I go on to the next joke. On TV, if I stand there for a minute while they laugh, I look like an idiot who can't remember the next joke.
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My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you?
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I think my friends wife has been banging a black guy. Because they just had a baby. And the baby had a hole in it.
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I hated my mom for not letting me play football as a kid. So when I have kids someday, I guarantee they'll never meet their grandmother.
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I'm fascinated by offensive subject matter. Always have been. It is very natural to me, as any teach I've ever had growing up could attest.
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There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it that's my job.
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I've always been fascinated by dark subjects, especially people's reactions to them. Why are people so uncomfortable talking about death if everyone dies?
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It's always difficult when someone close to you passes away. But it's really tough when they're on top of you.
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I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.
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Katey Sagal, you are an incredible actress. You worked on ‘Married with Children,’ the show that changed comedy, ‘Sons of Anarchy,’ the show that took comedy to a whole new level and ‘8 Simple Rules,’ the show that killed John Ritter.
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Everyone has the same kind of fears everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and I hope horrible things dont happen to my family, but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release.
Anthony Jeselnik