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O starry night, This is how I want to die

Anne Sexton

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Anne Sexton
Age: 45 †
Born: 1928
Born: November 9
Died: 1974
Died: October 4
Poet
Writer
Newton
Massachusetts
Anne Gray Harvey
Starry
Dies
Night

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I see myself as one would see another. I have been cut in two.
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I'm hunting for the truth. It might be a kind of poetic truth, and not just a factual one, because behind everything that happens to you, there is another truth, a secret life.
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I rot on the wall, my own Dorian Gray.
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And tonight our skin, our bones, that have survived our fathers, will meet, delicate in the hold, fastened together in an intricate lock. Then one of us will shout, My need is more desperate! and I will eat you slowly with kisses even though the killer in you has gotten out.
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You cutting the lawn, fixing the machines, all this leprous day and then more vodka, more soda and the pond forgiving our bodies, the pond sucking out the throb.
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sorrow is easier than guilt.
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Take your foot out of the graveyard, they are busy being dead.
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I wonder if the artist ever lives his life--he is so busy recreating it.
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The boys and girls are one tonight. They unbutton blouses. They unzip flies. They take off shoes. They turn off the light. The glimmering creatures are full of lies. They are eating each other. They are overfed. At night, alone, I marry the bed.
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I was only sitting here in my white study with the awful black words pushing me around.
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God went out of me as if the sea dried up like sandpaper, as if the sun became a latrine.
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Oh, darling, let your body in, let it tie you in, in comfort.
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Blue eyes wash off sometimes.
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I said, the poets are there I hear them singing and lying around their round table and around me still.
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Now, in my middle age, about nineteen in the head I'd say, I am rowing, I am rowing.
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Daisies in water are the longest lasting flower you can give to someone. Fact. Buy daisies. Not roses.
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Every time I get happy the Nana-hex comes through. Birds turn into plumber's tools, a sonnet turns into a dirty joke, a wind turns into a tracheotomy, a boat turns into a corpse.
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If you meet a cross-eyed person you must plunge into the grass, alongside the chilly ants, fish through the green fingernails and come up with the four-leaf clover.
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Jesus saw the multitudes were hungry and He said, Oh Lord, send down a short-order cook.
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Only my books anoint me, and a few friends, those who reach into my veins.
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