My faith is certainly not as stable or constant as I’d like it to be. I’m a highly emotional person and sometimes allow my emotions to affect how I feel about God or how I trust him.

I think subconsciously because of my upbringing, I was very aware of values and morals and that's why I experienced the occasional guilt with my habits.

Surrender goes against our very nature to be independent. Surrender indicates we willingly choose to rely on others. We must rewire our thinking to recognize that needing another person (and being the person someone else needs) is not a weakness it only strengthens us.

It takes courage to say, I need help and to be vulnerable and accept advice from people who may be wiser than you are. It takes courage to die to ourselves so we can become fully alive in a love and hope and freedom that only come when we do push our pride away.

After a few years of the addiction controlling my online life, and beginning to affect my life offline as well - meeting men and becoming physically involved with them - whether I believed in God or not, to me was moot. Anything that had as much control over my life as this addiction did could not be healthy.

Sometimes when we are afraid to confess an area of brokenness or sin in our lives, we know the changes we need to make.

God is not usually a burning bush in my life. He's usually a very quiet whisper. And he never shows up too early...but he's also never late, either.

In times that are dark and God seems far [away], I look for him in small ways - the innocent laughter of a child on an airplane, the way the rain falls down through tree branches, the aroma of honeysuckle as I ride my bike down the Natchez Trace, and through the love of friends who have carried me through the darkest times of my life.