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I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.

Anne Lamott

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Anne Lamott
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 10
Novelist
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Thoughts
Gin
Drink
Dish
Jesus
Dishes
Cannot
Alcohol
Thought
Loud
Even
Cat
Make
Awful
Would
Straight

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The world is always going to be dangerous, and people get badly banged up, but how can there be more meaning than helping one another stand up in a wind and stay warm?
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This business of having been issued a body is deeply confusing... Bodies are so messy and disappointing.
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I write everything as a wake-up call to myself and others, to anyone who may have gotten tired of hitting the snooze button.
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It turned out this man worked for the Dalai Lama. And she said gently-that they believe when a lot of things start going wrong all at once, it is to protect something big and lovely that is trying to get itself born-and that this something needs for you to be distracted so that it can be born as perfectly as possible.
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...because when people have seen you at their worst, you don't have to put on the mask as much.
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Sometimes I think that Jesus watches my neurotic struggles, and shakes his head and grips his forehead and starts tossing back mojitos.
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Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate.
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It's a great time to be alive.
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Maybe it's wishful thinking, this snaggly faith of mine, or maybe it's Miles Davis saying, Don't play what's there, play what's not there.
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For me, being a writer is not an altered state. It's very ponderous, and very - it's like being a shoemaker.
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You have to keep taking the next necessary stitch, and the next one, and the next. Without stitches, you just have rags. And we are not rags.
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There is nothing more touching to me then a family picture where everyone is trying to look his or her best, but you can see what a mess they all really are.
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People help you or you help them and when we offer or receive help, we take in each other. And then we are saved.
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Needless to say, there was no one around remotely fitting the description of a normal person: I was at a writing conference.
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Joy is the best makeup.
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What an incredible drug fear is.
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Mine was a patchwork God, sewn together from bits of rag and ribbon, Eastern and Western, pagan and Hebrew, everything but the kitchen sink and Jesus.
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[S]he believed that the Buddhists were right–that if you want, you will suffer if you love, you will grieve. (68)
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You want to protect your child from pain, and what you get instead is life, and grace and though theologians insist that grace is freely given, the truth is that sometimes you pay for it through the nose. And you can't pay your child's way.
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