Quote

You could miss someone, but it did no good to fixate on loss. I wished I had the ready words of a Breeder or the ability to comfort with a soft touch. I didn't. Instead I had daggers and determination. That would have to do.

Ann Aguirre

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Ann Aguirre
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 27
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
the United States of America
Ellen Connor
Ava Gray
Someone
Comfort
Fixate
Good
Missing
Breeders
Would
Loss
Daggers
Instead
Wished
Ready
Soft
Ability
Determination
Words
Miss
Didn
Touch
Breeder

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With my partner beside me, I fear nothing, not even death.
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I found it curious that people kept animals for companionship and not food. When I'd asked Mama Oaks when she planned to cook the fat creature that slept in a basket in the kitchen, her eyes almost popped out of her head. Since then, she'd kept her pet away from me, like she suspected I meant to turn it into stew. Clearly, I had a lot to learn.
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His face held a certain impassivity you see it in all waiters and valets. They might want to jam a knife through your left eye socket, but you'd never know it from their expression. Working retail, I've acquired a similar look myself.
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I don’t like anyone knowing anything about me that I didn’t choose to tell them.
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You ever have that feeling? Like you’ve known someone your whole life but you don’t know them at all.
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The whole world is like Whitewall's razors I burst out. It cuts us, and we bleed but there's no purpose to it.
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Maybe I was just one of those people who couldn't rest easy unless things went catastrophically wrong.
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I felt like the blonde in every horror movie who hears a noise in the basement and goes to investigate alone. Sometimes you smell the stupid all around you, but you step in it anyway.
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It's only a sure defeat when you stop trying.
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Now I know there are ways to belong to someone that don’t take anything away. A relationship shouldn’t impose limits—and if it does, then it’s wrong. A lover should help you exceed your potential, not clip your wings.
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You don’t need to be afraid of falling // when there’s someone around to catch you.
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Sometimes I miss the old me.
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Through the damp fabric of my coverall, bundled in my blanket, I feel naked. Raw. He sees more than I want, more than I can bear. It’s like standing before him ... while he stares at my scars, pitiless and unmoved.
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I'm not sick, Deuce. You don't know your own charm. My charm? I hadn't been aware I had any. It must be the dress, I thought.
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It’s easy to do right when everything goes right. But let everything go wrong, and see how difficult it becomes.
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Because it takes more courage to heal the world's hurts than to inflict them.
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But I miss the woman I was, even as I learn to accept the new creature I’ve become.
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There were different kinds of strength. I knew that now. It didn't always come from a knife or a willingness to fight. Sometimes it came from endurance, where the well ran deep and quiet. Sometimes it came from compassion and forgiveness.
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But wishes were empty thoughts, cast down a dark hole. They didn't come true unless you worked for them. I'd learned that about the world, if nothing more.
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Right now, I wish I’d stayed because I want you at my side. That sounds pretty selfish, but I don’t mean it that way. You just never needed me that way I said it to you once as I was leaving—that you love me, but you don’t need me. You don’t lean. But I admire that about you, and I could use some of your strength right now.
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