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I'll always want him. Until every sun goes dark in every sky, until I am nothing more than long-forgotten cosmic dust, I will want him. And even then I suspect my particles will long for his.

Ann Aguirre

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Ann Aguirre
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 27
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
the United States of America
Ellen Connor
Ava Gray
Goes
Particles
Dark
Suspect
Nothing
Suspects
Even
Cosmic
Every
Dust
Long
Sky
Always
Forgotten
Sun

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We’re bound by chains of love, but they don’t weigh us down. Instead, they allow us to be bigger and better than we are.
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Once exposed, a secret loses all its power.
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If this is the last time, let me say it so you never forget. I will always love you, Deuce. No matter where souls go, mine will be looking for you, solnyshko moyo. No. I want a promise instead. Promise you'll fight like you never have, so when the dying stops, you'll be on your feet looking for me here. I swear.
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I’d never known it was possible to love as he did— with complete devotion yet devoid of promises.
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I know just how he feels that it’s come to this. Sometimes, love isn’t enough, even when it’s all you have.
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I shake my head, but I can’t change this. I can only bear the scars, as I have always done, as I ever do.
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Don't worry he tells me tenderly. It doesn't matter who you've been, who you are, or who you become. I'm with you every step of the way.
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. . . and I don’t expect him to suborn his life into mine any more than I would change my dreams for him. We’re not one soul, one being, however much we love each other.
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He'd said the sun could burn me. It certainly looked angry enough, all orange and glowing mad.
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But it was like a dance across a field strewn with razors, and I bled with every step I took.
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My body was a machine, plain and simple. I worked it to stay strong I fed it to keep it running.
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While sight may deceive you, touch rarely does.
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With a polite smile, I decided she was insane.
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I never belonged anywhere until I met you.
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As I dive between the legs of a big Gunnar, I see Mair wind up and slam her shockstick hard as she can between the V of another guy’s thighs. Falling, he makes a noise that I can’t say I’ve heard a human utter before, sort of like I imagine a puppy would sound being put through a juicer.
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Not just when its easy. All the time.
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I’ve lost so many people. Some I left on purpose and never looked back. Some were taken from me, and I never said good-bye.
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Right now, I wish I’d stayed because I want you at my side. That sounds pretty selfish, but I don’t mean it that way. You just never needed me that way I said it to you once as I was leaving—that you love me, but you don’t need me. You don’t lean. But I admire that about you, and I could use some of your strength right now.
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Through the damp fabric of my coverall, bundled in my blanket, I feel naked. Raw. He sees more than I want, more than I can bear. It’s like standing before him ... while he stares at my scars, pitiless and unmoved.
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