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Dogs are nicer than people.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Dogs
Dog
People
Nicer

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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
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People like to say, You're only as old as you feel, but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.
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When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.
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I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
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My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
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Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by the wait but pleased with the lift.
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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.
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The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
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One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.
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I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
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I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
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